Clients with some form of dementia has become our fastest growing clientele. And it is very typical of them to think they are just fine and “don’t need any help from anyone!” Some of you have already experienced them trying to get you to leave anyway they can. It is uncomfortable to say the least.

We have a small handful of caregivers that don’t encounter this much even where others do so I have been observing and listening as they talk to try to find the secrets. I believe I have discovered a few.

Firstly, instead of blowing in like a good stiff wind, talking loudly and exuberantly making their presence known, “Hi, I am Kathy from Home Instead. I am going to help you today, sweetie.” while carrying all my bags into the house and plopping them down, then heading to the phone- their phone, by the way, and picking it up to clock in. What do you think the reaction is going to be especially because they may not remember who you are. How would you feel if someone entered your living room while you were watching a movie and did that? Yeah, me too.

So, again, instead of doing that, they enter the house as a gentle breeze, leave bags outside for awhile, speak respectfully and calmly to the client. They usually have clocked in while in the car but if not, ask if they can use the phone for a minute.

They sit down next to the client and ask “how the day is going? How have you been?” They may ask about family members, activities, about pets, etc. They do not declare who they are, where they come from or they are there to help. They present themselves as a friend NOT a caregiver.

And then they do things together- “I am getting hungry. How about we make lunch? It’s a beautiful day out, I was thinking of going on a walk, I would love for you to go with me. Hey, I stopped by to see if you would like to go shopping?”

Be creative in presenting yourself but remember to be gentle, respectful of it being their home and be a friend. It goes a long, long way in avoiding some negative reactions. Let them know that they have a friend in you!